“A tree that refuses water and sunlight for itself can’t bear fruit for others. If you want to have enough to give to others, you need to take care of yourself first. ” -Emily Mauritian
It only took me 36 years, but I have decided that my WHY should be ME! My motivation, my inspiration and my drive should be FOR ME. When you meet someone who is truly living their purpose, it radiates and inspires others - and there is nothing selfish about that!
Why do we feel bad for doing things for our physical and mental health FIRST? Why should filling our cup first ever be considered selfish? When we feel good - REALLY good - we are better humans, moms, friends, co-workers, and family members. So shouldn't we all be encouraging one another to take care of ourselves FIRST?
Working out should be for YOU.
Getting pampered should be for YOU.
What YOU choose to do is up to YOU.
Why would you let anyone else dictate your fate and your future?
Are you working out so your body looks good to others or to your spouse? Are you asking everyone how you should color or cut your hair? Are you doing things to gain the approval of others?
Then HONEY you are doing it WRONG! Believe me, I hate to admit it but that was once me.......so please, let's learn from younger Shay.
"Looking after yourself is the greatest act of kindness you can give the world. Loving yourself first is the best way to spread love." -Holly Bourne
I was 22 and fell hard for.... let's call him "Rupert", I fell hard for Rupert. Really hard. He was older - nine years older to be exact. He was a coach and a family man, and I was so smitten. So smitten that my thoughts were consumed with what I could do to make him like me. ALL I could think about was him and doing all I could to be what I thought he wanted me to be. WHAT IN THE HELL was young Shay thinking?
He took me on dates, opened the doors, and was a gentleman. That is, until he told my roommate he would be more attracted to me if I lost 15 pounds...
I know - I would love to tell you I told him to "F off" and never saw him again but then this wouldn't be a true story.
So I lost weight. I lost 20 pounds and Rupert approved and soon fell in love with me. Oh those Ruperts get us all don't they! I stopped going out with my friends because he didn't like it. I watched how I looked, what I weighed, what I said, made him dinners, and was your everyday 22-year-old housewife because that's normal. I completely lost myself. I became a version of myself that I thought Rupert would like. I stopped putting myself first and I put him first. I talked and did what he wanted. We hung out with his friends and his family. Our life was his life. It was not the life I wanted to live and soon it caught up with me and slapped me in the face. Hard.
"Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are."-Brené Brown
The truth and the realization was that none of this was me (The people pleasing part, sure, but not the rest).
Where was I hiding my giant hurricane of personality, taking up ALL the space, living bold and bright?
“Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world. Every girl must decide whether to settle for adoration or fight for love" -Glennon Doyle
Well I know you are all dying to know what happened to Rupert.... I divorced him. I wish him the best and maybe some weight gain that he just can't ever lose.
To hide ourselves or camouflage ourselves to be what everyone else wants us to be is not the life I was meant to live, and neither are you!
Live bold, bright and take up ALL the space!
xo Shay xo
BE YOUR WHY
(1st picture is while married to Rupert 2nd picture is right after divorce)